If Email Was A Girl I’d Marry It
Last week I read an article (forgot to save it to Clips) about email providers feeling the need to add more social features to their services because email isn’t cool anymore. Are you kidding me? Email is probably the greatest “look I am being social, but not really” communication tool of all time. It allows me to take my time and communicate with anyone, anywhere without feeling pressured to get the job done.
Do you know how many times people have emailed me and one of these things happened?
- Read it and forgot about it.
- Spam bot was hungry so it ate it.
- Never opened it.
And you know what? There is a single response that you can give that works every single time to get you out of the situation.
For some reason this email was in the junk folder and I’m glad I caught it before deleting it…
(Disclosure When I say this to you, I really do mean that it got caught in the spam filter, it’s everyone else I give that excuse to.)
And you know what some more? There are a million other responses you can give that make it seem like you genuinely cared about the person emailing you. Now you are telling me you want to show others when I’m online (yes I know gmail has this) so they know that there is no way I didn’t see their email? Or maybe you are telling me that you want people to not only harass me over email, but poke me at the same time while sending over a virtual back massager that plays a music video I never asked for? There is a reason I only have four people total on my AIM buddy list.
Email is so great I can call it the bee’s knees and still look like a rockstar for saying it. Email is the bee’s knees. See? Sexy as ever. I don’t have to wait for my friends to get a gmail account to email them. I can just do it. I don’t have to worry about how many drunken 70 year old women I have plastered on my profile page because email ignores all that.
You want to take all of that away from me by giving me more? Did you forget everyone has an email address? People move from social network to social network, but their emails remain the same. I like that. Screw that up and I will maul you.
Cappuccino # —
E-Mail is one of those things that I want less of, to be honest I think I could be happy with something as simple as “mutt”. Something fast, lean, mean.
Can the anti-glam be considered glam? Nowadays it seems that email and really any service is more about grabbing your attention and keeping it so someone else doesn’t take it away.
I sort of miss the good old days. Good reflections Scrivs.
Scrivs # —
Communication has never needed to be glamorous and that is why email is so effective. The greatest web technologies revolve around communication and they are all pretty basic.
All give you a way to communicate with others. There are bells and whistles mixed in, but I never hear of anyone saying they want more features for their IM. They just want to click on the name and type.
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