3by9

What have you done for me lately?

The internet is a place many come in hopes to become rich. It’s their ticket to the good life. A large amount of people not only want to be rich they want to be well-known. I always ask myself if they really know what they are opening themselves up to. I keep talking about this because I don’t think people “get” what they are asking for. The price of fame and fortune is high…if you don’t know how to manage it.

The more influence (power) you have the more people want you to use that influence (power) to help them in whatever goal they are trying to achieve. Most times people will expect things from you without being honest enough to inform you in the beginning of the expectation. In my experience, I don’t usually find out about the true expectation until I didn’t fulfill it - the thing I didn’t know I was supposed to be doing - and the person was upset, disappointed or angry. This can range from using me to attract people to them to using the things I worked hard for to benefit them financially. People will want all types of things from you as you gain influence (power) on the internet and when they do in some instances it is going to hurt because you realize the person is around you (interacting with you) because of what they want from you. Yet, if you ask yourself “what have you done for me lately?”, 99% of the time it’s not enough (in comparison to what they want vs. what they’ve consistently given).

I use Mike Arrington as an example to this because, well, he’s a success story and when he goes through things it tends to be public, but people don’t learn from his experiences. I do.

Last week Blogworld concluded. Mike Arrington and Om Malik were supposed to speak. They didn’t. Om was sick. Mike…his situation is the interesting one. So many things went wrong it’s almost comical. Ok, it is comical.

Mistake #1: Saying no the first time or understanding what is worth your time pays off in the end. Mike learned:

I literally see attending a conference as a cost in terms of writing time. A day away is so many posts that I can’t write, etc. And if a big story breaks, it can be a very steep cost. When things like this happen, it gives me just the excuse I need to firmly tell everyone who contacts me that I can’t speak at their conference.

He’s 100% correct. Would Mike have received the same benefit going to the conference vs. those wanting (or needing) him to attend? No. Understanding that it’s not worth going to conferences (or being extremely picky about the ones he attends) will save him a lot of headaches. We talked about this in the last podcast - doing things that might compliment what you do but detract from the real goal.

Mistake #2: Mike stopped following what is said about him because of the negativity.

Others speculate that this was a PR stunt to get links. All I can say is that I don’t monitor what’s said about me on the web because there is no much negativity - I stopped looking in late 2005 and asked friends not to send me links to stuff that is trashing me. So I don’t see lots of stuff about me.

That’s a big mistake but I understand completely why Mike does this. Sometimes the negativity is hard to take. For Mike, it’s almost constant but that doesn’t change the need to know what is being said about you. True, he’d be reading a lot of negativity but he misses the majority of things said which leaves him open to being hit by surprise with something that could have been avoided. If you become influential (powerful) you become a brand. Being aware doesn’t mean you have to respond. Seriously, he is at a point where he needs a personal assistant. He only reads 10% of email and is unaware of what is being said about him. Not good.

Mistake #3: When Blogworld asked him to speak, Mike initially said yes, if the details are firmed up (common response - doesn’t make it a done deal). Blogworld was unable to firm up those details yet proceeded to advertise his presence. If you are going to organize an event never accept the initial “yes” as the final “yes”. Mike should not have been considered on board until all the details had been resolved (financial arrangements, travel arrangements, what Mike was talking about, etc.). Yes, there is the additional error of Rick using the wrong date but that mistake would not have happened so late if Blogworld did not promote Mike’s attendance prior to having all the details worked out. It’s the equivalent of saying you got the house before the bank approved your loan. Excellent that Rick explained what happened in full detail - that took a lot of guts to admit his mistake but it was absolutely the right thing to do.

Mistake #4: Turning off comments doesn’t stop the conversation, it just shifts it to another location. Telling people to go away doesn’t help either. Again, I get it but what if everyone went away? What if everyone dropped him from their feed, didn’t read the site and actually went away? He knows they aren’t, he “really” doesn’t want everyone too, and that’s why he comes off cocky. If you have a conversation going on that you don’t like stop responding….it will die on its own.

One more thing:

Not one person who trashed me, many of whom I consider friends, even bothered to email me and ask why I wasn’t there.

Your friends would ask you before writing about you - that’s what friends do. The sooner people realize who their true friends are the less headaches, pain and frustration they’ll receive. It hurts to realize people you thought were friends weren’t but as I said, the cost of fame is high. Most people aren’t your friends.

Everyone makes mistakes, things happen…learn from other people’s experiences. Many times asking “what have you done for me lately?” will stop unfortunate incidences like this from happening.

Sing it Janet.